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November 05, 2004
I need some advice
Dear reader, maybe you can help.
I have a wonderful, funny and very bright ten y/o stepson, Edward. He lives most of the year with his mom in Oregon. My husband calls him often, usually on his commute home. Last night hubby walked in almost seething because he had to cut his call short with Edward rather than go off on the little guy (or go off on his ex-wife).
What happened? Well, Edward was ranting about GW being elected President (did I mention he lives with his mom in Oregon??), and it all being the fault of redneck Republicans.
Hubby will be calling and talking with Edward again soon. He's still coming up with what to say to Edward to get him to not engage in such insulting behavior.
Recommendations?
Posted by Darleen at November 5, 2004 07:03 AM
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Comments
Beat him. Beat him bloody.
What's that? You were looking for serious answers? Oh. Sorry.
Explain to him that people who have different opinions aren't necessarily good or bad, they're just different. They're not necessarily smart or dumb, they're just different. Explain to him that it's wrong to jump to conclusions about people based on their opinions or who they voted for.
Then begin a slow but relentless process of indoctrinating him in the ways of radical moderate conservatism. Do crazy things like letting him go to church and encouraging him to think for himself instead of regurgitating what he sees on MTV.
It's insidious, I know.
Posted by: Jeff Harrell at November 5, 2004 08:26 AM
That must have been very disconcerting for your husband.
I think I would use the old sandwich approach. Start with good, that he has an interest in politics and that your husband is proud of him for participating in the process. That this shows what a big boy he is becoming by beginning to think of people other than himself and the consequences of actions, but that it was the way in which Edward did it that was unsettling to your husband.
I would ask him to explain the phrase redneck. When he stumbles I would talk about learning to think for himself and that when Edward uses phrases like Redneck it makes your husband think he is just parroting someone else's opinion since he knows that Edward doesn't even know what that means.
I assume knows his father is a Republican; I would talk about his hurtful tone; about his stereotypes and name-calling and that it is never ok to do that.
Then I would ask him why he had such passionate feelings - why did he support Kerry. He may surprise you with his answers. There may be some common ground to talk about, which would further illustrate the point that he cannot make gross generalizations about others. That Edward and his father actually agree on the values or issues, but disagree on the method for getting the results they both want.
The main thing is for your husband, and you, to set the example for thoughtful and respectful discourse. That's it from this liberal chicks point of view. Good luck with the talk and post about how it goes.
Posted by: Mieke at November 5, 2004 02:15 PM
Mieke, I am impressed! Not surprised, but impressed :) That was a nice response. Very pragmatic.
Posted by: reese at November 5, 2004 06:45 PM