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April 23, 2006

Why would you let the government set the value of your friendship?

While reviewing a rather hilarious collection of blogging posts offered within the liturgy of "Blog against Heteronomativity" (more later after my sides stop aching) a little tidbit from Maia in New Zealand got my attention, but not in the way I believe she proposed. She is speaking of the hospitalization of her best friend and that "people" didn't get how upset and drained she was in visiting her friend (clue to Maia - find new "people" to hang with). Then she comes up with

Under the Holidays Act you get 3 days' paid bereavement leave on the death of a set of named people, parents, children, siblings, grandparents, grandchildren, spouse and spouses parents. For a friend you can get one day's paid leave if your employer accepts a bereavement.

Our society does not value, or even really recognise friendships, particularly friendships between women.

Sweetcheeks, it isn't society that is not "honoring" your friendship, it is YOU if you let what your employer grants based on reasonable business concerns as the value of YOUR friendship.

My employer only offers bereavement for immediate family (parents, spouse, children). When my beloved uncle passed away I didn't hesitate to use my earned vacation time.

The only one here willing to put a monetary value on their friendship is Maia. She wants others to subsidize her personal relationships, then whines about society's devaluation of female friendships.


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Posted by Darleen at April 23, 2006 08:04 AM


A good point, and I think that many supervisors, if you explain it to them carefully (my best friend since high school, helped me bury the body of my uncle, etc.) will certainly let you use vacation time on short notice to tend to a friend.

And if an employer is unwilling to grant that sort of leave on short notice ... the labor market, like many other things, is a free market.


Posted by: pennywit at April 23, 2006 04:29 PM

I snicker when anybody uses "heteronormalitive" as an insult. Or seriously believes it's a problem.

Posted by: ratan at April 24, 2006 07:55 PM

It's because people like Maia believe that it's the government's job to set a value on everything---and then start ponying up.

Posted by: TalkinKamel at April 25, 2006 07:45 AM

Yes, every molecule on earth moves at the behest of BushCo, and every breath we take should be the providence of the Legislature/Executive, as adjudicated by the Courts, and payed for from either Big Business profits, or the public coffers.

So then. Can we assume this is the opening round of natural extension to the breathless "progressive" advance of public discorse and comity that started with "identity politics", and will now advance onward to "identity relationships"?

Posted by: Big Bang Hunter at April 27, 2006 03:20 PM

Where do you find this stuff (and how can I avoid it in the future)?

It's difficult to believe these people are real - any novel with people this, uh, unusual, would never be published.

Posted by: mrsizer at April 27, 2006 07:53 PM

Oh, my - those people are certainly off the beaten path. I guess they want everyone to get A + in school too, so no one will be normal.

I read a few of those blog posts and I kept thinking - where on earth do those people live? Do they ever leave their homes? Are they taking anti-delusional drugs - if not ...

Posted by: Beth Donovan at May 1, 2006 11:24 AM