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December 01, 2004

Magpies and whores

via Glenn Reynolds, Jonah Goldberg grouses about the omnipresent Kay Jeweler Christmas ad campaign.

Well, not to put too fine a point on it, but if every kiss begins with a bauble from Kay, then you're either dating, or married to, a whore.
I'd rather the ads not run quite so much ... I can't even read the tagline without hearing the jingle in my head (which ranks right up there with It's A Small World in the annoyance factor) ... I don't think the ads, either from Kay or the Diamond Council are trying to get men to fork over $$$ for grasping women who won't put out unless a piece of ice is the latest offering laid at the altar on the end of the bed.

Now while Marilyn sang about diamonds being a girl's best friend, the ads are aimed at couples either just about to get married or long term couples celebrating an anniversary.

And, let's face it, they are playing to a male audience that abhors shopping. Most men would rather be stuck in the middle of Oprah's audience during a series devoted to difficult pregnancies and labor gone wrong then having to brave the mall and buy a gift for the special woman in their life. How much easier to swing into a story filled with sparkly stuff and not worry about sizes, fabric, fashion or a bored teener salesclerk with tattoos and a nose ring who only got the job for the holidays because she finds her parents one step more boring than the waiting on you.

May I make a suggestion about gift giving, especially between couples?

Talk.

Just plain talk to each other. Guys, you may indeed find your lady is a magpie, dazzled and ecstatic when receiving bright, shiny things she can wear. But if your lady has not taken the last gift of jewelry out of the box since last Christmas, ask her what she'd prefer. Some women are just not into jewelry, some just have no opportunities to wear the good stuff. Maybe what makes her heart skip a beat is the table saw aisle at Home Depot.

AND WOMEN? When your guy asks you what you prefer, give him an answer! Grandma may have told you it was impolite to ask for things, but when you say "Oh, Honey! Whatever you get me, I'll love it" -- That.Is.A.Lie. What did Grandma say about lying?

Picking out gifts for others is never going to be fraught-free, but we shouldn't go out of our way to make it difficult by trying to channel Carnak the Magnificent.

That said, a couple of words about Christmas whores (regardless of gender). You'll recognize them from jr. or sr. high school. The girl who bugs the crap out of her boyfriend to spring for a gift way beyond his budget only to breakup with him on New Year's Eve. The guy who picks a fight with his girlfriend at Thanksgiving so he won't have to buy her any present.

Unfortunately, this game playing follows a lot of people into adulthood ... its just the coveted gifts get bigger. When the person you've been sleeping with for six months starts asking for a piece of real estate ........

Posted by Darleen at December 1, 2004 12:23 PM

Comments

I remember seeing a cartoon — I think it was an episode of "Family Guy" — in which a man and a woman are seen in silhouette, a la the old De Beers spots. The man gives the woman a diamond ring, she kisses him, then her head begins to dip out of frame. The tagline: "Diamonds. She'll pretty much have to."

Posted by: Jeff Harrell at December 1, 2004 03:52 PM

Hey, how did you know about me and the Home Depot?

Around here we have equally annoying commercials from Jared's Jewelers, one of which features a woman getting progressively p.o.'ed as her friends show off the fabulous bling-bling they've received because "he went to Jared's". At the end, she drops an appetizer in her hapless hubby's drink, 'cause he didn't. Nice.

I'm not sure their PR dept. meant to convey No Jared's = Harpy, but that's sure the message that gets across.

Posted by: Sal at December 2, 2004 08:24 AM