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December 15, 2004

In praise of Christmas tradition

Michele writes both longingly about her wishes for what a family tree-trimming should be like and about how her family falls short of her dreams. She concludes, though, that the day has become a family tradition and she's not sure she'd trade it or give it up to someone else's tradition.

As we've become more modern, hip and sophisticated, we have tended to downplay or dismiss the importance of tradition and ritual in our lives. We've lost touch with the ebb and flow of life at its most basic. Our ancestors, by want of modern conveniences, were part of the seasonal change of the world around them, taking cues from the cyclical changes to mark them with celebration and ritual. Whatever else may happen, the time of planting and growing and harvesting would still come around.

As parents, we learn early the value of ritual to the sense of security our children experience. A set bedtime, a routine of washing face, brushing teeth, pjs, favorite blankey, bedtime story.

So it is with Christmas traditions and expressions. Whatever traditions you establish doesn't matter as much as actually having some tradition, some sort of continuity in one's life.

Dennis Prager even makes the argument that traditions have a societal benefit.

We have lost an appreciation for the monumental significance of public ritual in maintaining our national identity and values. We have also greatly overstated the ability of feelings to be maintained without public expression of those feelings.

As much as we make fun of the neighborhoods that get ... well... a little crazy, it's more than a little sad at this time of year to go down streets where only a handful of homes have any lights at all. Dennis makes the analogy:

Ask your wife if she would feel equally loved and appreciated if you never gave her a card or gift on her birthday, your wedding anniversary or Mother's Day. After all, if you really believe that feelings need not be manifested in any formal, ritualistic way, why bother with a card or gift on her birthday? Presumably you love her just as much on that day as any other, so why engage in card waving?

The reason is that for the vast majority of people, their birthday is a significant day, and its significance should be publicly manifested and even celebrated, not just internally felt.

So if you haven't put out any lights yet, there's still time! White or colored, a string or two around the door or draped along the fence will lend a festive and celebratory air to your neighborhood, engender a few smiles and help continue a tradition that, if only for a short time each year, we really try to be civil with one another.

Posted by Darleen at December 15, 2004 12:20 PM

Comments

Christmas Lost?

Last night I threw caution to the wind and went shopping at one the the large warehouse discount stores. The huge parking lot was nearly full. I found a place to park after having been beat out of a couple of spaces by aggressive drivers risking collision to sneak into the spaces I'd been waiting for.

Silent and serious-looking shoppers pushed their carts around with the determination of a rush-hour driver. There was no Christmas music in the background, no docorations, and no Santa Claus. I purposely looked my fellow shoppers in the eye as we passed and wished them a Merry Chrisrmas. About one in ten responded with a smile or some sort of acknowledgement. The rest looked straight ahead and ignored my intrusion. In my opinion there was an absolute absence of the Christmas Spirit in the store.

I made purchases to give as presents to people I thought would give me presents. I didn't want to be embarassed. I also bought a couple of presents I could hold in reserve just in case I forgot somebody. Oh, how I love this obligated giving at Christmas.

On the way home I noticed a general lack of decorations. Thirty years ago, every house in my neighborhood was decorated with all sorts of lights and displays. Now there are just a few strands of lights here and there. I also realized I was listening to talk radio. I hit the search button several times before I found some Christmas music.

Today I was commiserating with a friend about how terrible the Christmas season had become. "I just dread it," she commented.

Does anybody know what happened to the season where we celebrated the birth of Jesus Christ with family gatherings, church plays, decorations, music, food, and giving like the three kings? It appears that even Santa has been killed.

Have we sacrificed our most exciting holiday in the spirit of political correctness? I had a second grade student tell me that the students at her school couldn't sing Christmas songs because some non-Christian students might be offended. Huh? Is Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer offensive to any religion?

The retailers have made sure we remember to give gifts on the 25th, but if it were not for them, maybe nothing would be left of our most special holiday. If anyone finds Christmas, please return it. I miss it.

Posted by: Al at December 16, 2004 04:13 PM